EDIT: My mom said she's going to stop smoking "regular" cigarrettes after the 7th, which is the anniversary of my dad's death. She already has the patches, and I told her that if she does that, I'll quit doing something unhealthy too, like eating tons of junk food, and that I'll do my homework more. We'll see how this goes. It's a start.

I don't know what to do. I keep crying now. My mom's being such a.. I don't know.. she won't stop smoking regular cigarrettes OR pot, and her stupid fucking cheating boyfriend doesn't help at all. I hate him.

I went and told my mom RIGHT before she went into her room with that fucking man NOT to smoke pot, at the very LEAST not today. What does she do? She goes in and smokes pot with that idiot.

She came out of her room and they both went downstairs because he was getting ready to leave, and I could smell that nauseating shit through her closed door, like I always can. So, I went downstairs and asked her "What did I JUST tell you not to do?" and told her about how she was smoking. All she says is "Sorry Charlie" like it's no big deal. All the while, that man is just treating this like some family drama on TV with his amused little "ooh's" and "I didn't know about that" bullshit.

I then kind of shouted a little about how selfish she's being, and asked her how she'd feel if me or my brother were doing pot. She just said "I'd feel bad too, but.." I can tell she meant "but whatever". She also shrugged off everything I was saying, stating that she's going to basically do what she wants, when she wants. Then, when I said she shouldn't be doing anything at all, she just said my name with such an annoyance that I just walked away.

Then my friend called me back, and I went up to my room and idiotically started crying and making her feel bad. I hung up for a bit, and told my brother some confusing mumbles about what I said to mom. We both went down and kind of had a stare fest with her, and she just said "well, I love you" and went upstairs. Then my brother had me tell him what happened because what I said before sounded like word vomit, and then we went upstairs, where she was tucking my other brother in. We talked to her a bit more in there, and I said that it hurts us to see her doing this, and she just asked "how does it hurt you?" We told her that she's not being herself when she does it, that we don't want to lose another parent, and some other shit. She basically just didn't say anything to that.

Then, when I said that I don't think she really cares, she said she did. If she REALLY cared, no matter how hard things are for her, she wouldn't be doing this and making things harder on us, to the point where we tell her multiple times how we feel and what's wrong, and the fact that I just went CRYING and yelling at her in front of that bastard.. I don't know.. I don't know if that even made sense.

I dunno what to do. She doesn't want to stop anything. I understand she's going through a hard time, but seriously.. this is just too much.

I'm sorry I'm whining about it.. It's probably a really stupid thing to whine about. :<